Legend of Secor Sasquatch

The Legend of Secor Sasquatch

Over the past few months, since October to be specific, we've been having sightings and even a few visits from a new resident of New London: The Secor Sasquatch. In an effort to learn more about this elusive, albeit friendly, creature of legend, we commissioned a team to start doing research and asking questions. The following are the details our team has managed to uncover thus far.

Learn More About Subaru's Commitment to the Environment

He has come to us from Northern Canada. Specifically, the forests in the Northernmost part of Quebec.

When coming here, he left his family of two sisters, his mother and his father. Apparently he was tired of not being able to socialize with the locals and hated being cold and wet all the time living in the woods.

He has a very famous cousin who resides in the Pacific Northwest of the United States.

He says that they do not keep in touch and that the fame has gone to his cousin's head making him unbearable. He even went so far as to call him "an ego-centric recluse" that needs a hobby other than terrorizing hikers and campers.

He has an Uncle that lives in the Himalayas of Nepal.

Apparently he is an abominable guy who finds great joy in terrorizing lost mountain climbers. This stems from a bad experience he had with some villagers about 100 years ago--something about pitchforks and torches chasing him out of town for trying to get some fresh milk from a local yak. He was sparse on the details as it's a sore subject.

He Stands 6'2" and weighs in at a svelte 325 lbs (350 after a good meal)

Fun fact: He is a size 24EEEE shoe, although he does not generally wear them, thus the infamous nick name: "Big Foot".

DO NOT CALL HIM BIG FOOT! He does not like it and reacts very unpleasantly to the name. One of our researchers is still healing from making the mistake.

His name of preference is Sasquatch.

He also doesn't mind being called "Squatch", "Sassy" and "Rob". We're not sure where Rob came from and will have to ask some follow-up questions on that.

He is currently residing somewhere near Ocean Beach in New London.

He would not disclose exactly where, but he did say that he loves being near the water and enjoys the easy access to fishing. We did not inquire as to whether or not he has a valid license.

His Favorite food is the #4 from Jersey Mike's in Waterford, no tomato.

He also enjoys Northern Indian Cuisine and fresh raw Striped Bass and Black Fish.

He is a sucker for Moe's.

He is 65 years old.

Apparently that is still very young for his kind, as they regularly live to be over 200 years old.

He has a son which he simply refers to as Junior.

His son is very shy and still scared of humans because of all the stories his family has told him through the years. Squatch thinks he will come around once he has met some of us.

He has several hobbies including

  • Fishing
  • Adopting stray cats
  • Abducting sales people that are not working hard enough and forcing them to fish with him while listening to Christmas carols recorded in his native language.
  • Long slow walks on the beach at night.

He speaks four languages.

  • Sasquatch (of course)
    • Fun fact: Our own Paul Holden understands Sasquatch.
  • Bad English (barely intelligible but able to communicate)
  • Bad French (at least that is what we think it is)
  • Rudimentary Sign Language (mostly using only one finger)

He loves holidays.

His favorite is Halloween because he can come out and go wherever he wants and no one bothers him.

He also loves Christmas because of the bright lights and his very charitable and giving nature.

He loves all kinds of music but is favorite is Disco.

If you listen carefully at Ocean Beach on quiet moonlit nights you may even catch him singing "Stayin' Alive" by the BeeGees.

He seems to gravitate towards very colorful cars.

In his visits here to Secor Subaru he always loved the brightest color cars we have, we have no indication as to why.

He loves the fact that Subaru is an environmentally conscientious company.

Being that he is from the woods, he decided he wanted to get involved with a company the respects and protects nature. He also loves how involved Secor is with our local community which is apparently why he chose us to make his existence public.

; ; )
; ;